At the beginning of this summer (is it fall already?) I had gotten the external hard drive that had failed me in mid-2011 repaired and the files copied to a new drive. Before this, I had managed to recover a substantial amount of documents, videos and music from an old hard drive backup that my buddy Matt had saved since high school. Some other documents I had emailed to myself and were able to recover, and many fully-edited videos I had either burned to DVD or uploaded online and so had available to me as backups.
But there were dozens of outlines, notes, half-finished scripts, and other writings as well as photos and literally hours of raw footage dating back as far as 2005 that disappeared on me for 6 years.
Aside from a nice walk down Memory Lane (and down one or two of Memory Lane’s seedier, not-so-nice alleyways), I found myself comparing the first five years writing and directing seriously (starting with A Day in Hot Springs in 2006) to the last five and realizing just how far I’ve taken this already, and wondering how much farther I can go. And, to some extent, how much farther I want to go.
Of course, as I’ve talked about before, inevitably I’ve had a few people ask if I’m working on the next film project… and for the first time since 2003, the answer has no. I have not been working on a damn thing of my own. I’ve been fortunate to be trusted to try to fill the shoes of the incomparable Betsy Savage as the president of the community theater, which has brought its own host of challenges – creative and otherwise – to tackle.
I’ve been asked to direct the spring show by the show’s author, the immensely gifted Kathe Holen, whom I worked with on The Christmas Heist and who was inspired to craft her own show. So, too, have I been asked to provide insights and feedback on other people’s projects, and I’m grateful for the opportunities and trust placed in my opinion.
I’ve also been taking the opportunity to watch more films and shows than I have in years, ranging from classics I’ve always wanted to see to but hadn’t had the means to do so, to random flicks that catch my attention. My biggest inspirations in those first five years were films that I picked up in the dollar bin at the local Family Dollar. Often indies or mid-budget studio films that frequently fell short of deserving any genuine critical acclaim, but had immense passion pouring out of every frame. Weird, off the wall stuff like “Teenagers from Outer Space” and “They Call Him Sasquatch.”
If the first five were spent being inspired, and the second five years of my creative endeavors were spent attempting to wrap up the narrative loose ends from the first five (e.g. Adventures in HS > Jamie Klotz; Bermuda Anbesol > Christmas Heist) that I didn’t have the resources to, then I want to start my third five the same way as the first – being inspired.
But still, after 10 years, it’s not in my nature not to be working on something of my own. In September, I turned 29. Before next September, I want to have produced one more film. I feel like I’ve been more honest with myself lately about the likelihood of my projects – film, stage or otherwise – actually coming to fruition, keeping better perspective on time, finances, my own procrastination, etc.
So what’s next?
I’m working on a feature length comedy-drama based on one of the shorts I had wanted to do this summer and failed at. I just re-worked the outline last weekend. Even if we had a completed script (we don’t!) at best this film is a 2020 project (release or filming, I don’t know for sure!) But that’s the next goal to hit. It’s my new “Graceland.” And setting that goal frees me to not feel the pressure to exceed elsewhere.
Here’s what I mean: seeing as how it’s also the first year of the next five years of doing this, I think I’m going to take a cue from Justin of 2006-2007 and just throw some really, really out there shit at the wall and see what happens. Whatever I do next, it’s probably not going to be screened. The continuity might really suck. The sound might really suck. Some of it might not even be good at all. I’m ready to see if I still have it in me to be inspired and weird and inventive.